Snoop Doc and Dr. Dre, OD

"Got some bubba, give me that. I need it for my cataracts." - Snoop Dogg in "Kush" by Dr. Dre.

While I applaud Mr. Snoop D-O-double-G for his awareness of ocular disease and the potential for using marijuana as treatment, there are some things that we need to straighten out.

Firstly, yes, marijuana can be prescribed for certain medical conditions. BUT! It's use is very limited and strictly regulated. In the medical field, its uses are mostly limited to patients who are being treated for cancer, severe pain, or terminal illnesses. In cancer patients it is used as an anti-emetic (decrease vomiting) and to increase appetite during chemotherapy.

A couple of weeks ago, I received a text from an old friend... "Are there any diseases of the eye that marijuana can be legally prescribed for?" Yes, old friend, yes there are. But, unfortunately, nothing I can help you with :)

The only eye disease that marijuana could be helpful for is glaucoma (not cataracts, Snoop!). Glaucoma is a disease in which the optic nerve (in the back of the eye) is damaged and can result in loss of peripheral vision (and blindness, in severe cases). It usually only presents in older patients, age 55 and up. High intra-ocular pressure is thought to be one of the main causes of damage to the nerve. This is why we do the Air Puff Test.

Marijuana can reduce the intra-ocular pressure a little. But in order for it to be effective, a patient would need to smoke very frequently, as much as every 3 hours. While some people may consider that cutting back compared to their daily norm, its not exactly what I would call effective dosing. Especially when one little eye drop once a day can be twice as effective as smoking 4 joints a day. I'm just sayin!

As always, comments and questions are welcome. Check yearly, see clearly!

Special thanks to Dr. H. Khangura, MD

Vodka Eyeballing: Let's Stop Talking About It

Google Search: vodka eyeball. 1,060,000 results (0.52 seconds). Wow, that is an absurd number of results for a practice that doesn't even exist (as long as you don't count the 5 people in world who do not, unlike the rest of us, suffer the burden of common sense and have actually attempted it).

What is it? Apparently, it is a "recent trend" that is popular with college students as a way to get drunk faster. The process is simple. Pour the vodka onto your eyeball.

Have you seen these people? It got the feeling they were auditioning for a spot in the next Jackass movie. Hey, why don't you guys try snorting wasabi or go bull fighting blindfolded? That might get you the gig.

Anyway, for almost a year now, stories of this nonsensical behaviour have been spiraling out of control. Although it has been covered by every possible news and media outlet multiple times, no one can put a finger on where it began and who is actually doing it (other than the aforementioned 5 people, lets call them the Fabulous Five!). This fiasco was created purely by the media and perpetuated by the upset parents who have been watching the reports and then calling their kids who are probably too busy taking regular vodka shots to even understand what Mommy and Daddy and talking about.

I know what you're going to say. "Harbir, you're just adding to it and fueling the fire by writing this blog!". Erroneous! Erroneous, I say! The sole intention of this blog is to stop people from talking about this fictitious form of alcohol consumption and concentrate on more meaningful and consequential topics of discussion such as How Trevor Linden Sold Out.

Now, to answer the questions that are likely circling your minds.

#1) Does it work? No.

Imagine putting an eye drop into your eye. Now put a second drop right after. And now a third. What happens? It spills over. Each individual drop from an eye drop bottle is approximately 0.05ml. And your eye can't handle more than a few drops.

1 ounce of fluid (vodka, in this case) = 30 ml. So, less than 0.1% of the alcohol in an eyeball shot will stay in your eye. Furthermore, an even smaller amount will actually be absorbed.

#2) Does it hurt? Since I am not one of the Fabulous Five, my answer is purely presumptive. Yes.

#3) Is it dangerous? Yes.

Alcohol can cause breakdown of the epithelium (outer covering) of the cornea and conjunctiva thus leaving the ocular surface susceptible to insults such as corneal abrasions, keratitis, conjuctivitis, and infections.

Vodka Eyballing. Lets Stop Talking About It.

"If you think metaphorical beer goggles are bad, imagine what literal vodka goggles will make you do!" -Stephen Colbert